How I got my kids to eat

I get asked that.  Not all the time, mind you, but I've been asked enough that I can honestly say, "People ask me how I get my kids to eat."  I'm no food expert, but I've come a loooong way, baby.  In fact, my somewhat reluctant journey to partial "granola-dom" should probably be a blogpost of its own.  But, I digress.  This post is about how to get your kids to eat.  I guess before I give you my suggestions - oh, the anticipation is just building, isn't it? - I should tell you a little about our eating history.

I have three boys.  But I started with just one.  And after he was weaned and started on solid food, I did the obligatory veggies here and there - canned green beans mostly, if I'm being honest.  (This is where I also have to mention that I was a moderately picky kid; I didn't like lots of veggies myself.  However - and this is where the culture shift comes into play - I ate what my mom fixed.  Including the veggies.  I don't ever remember a separate meal being prepared for any of the four kids residing in our household.)  Okay.  So when Boy1 was about 18 months old, we moved.  And during that process things got hectic, as moves are wont to do.  Oh, and did I mention I was pregnant with Boy2?  So I was less diligent about veggies.  And it showed when Boy1 later refused to eat even green beans.

I should also mention that I "bought into" the whole notion of "kid food"...whatever the heck that is.  For some reason, as a new mom, when he progressed to solids, I thought it would be too hard for him to chew up table food.  I know that probably sounds stupid, but someone else out there might think the same thing, so there you go.  (And I didn't have a genius experienced mom telling me to just puree that stuff or to mash it or finely chop it up....)  So, as he, and of course, Boy2, moved into toddlerhood and then preschool age, I was preparing chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, pb&j, hot dogs, spaghetti (but no meat!), bean tacos, cheese quesadillas, and the like.  In fact, nuggets and hot dogs were the only meat Boy1 ate.  Boy2 wouldn't eat any meat.  And neither of them ate any vegetables.  Not even the starchy kid favorites of corn and potatoes - okay, they ate french fries, but that doesn't really count now, does it?

I was doing the best I could, or what, at the time, I thought was the best.  We gradually moved into buying organic milk, and organic natural peanut butter.  Fruit spread instead of jelly.  Name brands (for whatever that's worth).  Whole wheat bread.  Whole wheat homemade mac and cheese instead of the box mix.  Nitrate free hot dogs.  And the boys were fruit eaters.  I even gave them cod liver oil.  So, I convinced myself that, in spite of their limited diets, I was feeding my kids pretty healthy stuff.  This is where I quote Danny Silk and tell you that, "My mistakes are your wisdom."

And did I mention that I home school?  So now, fast forward a few more years and I'm trying to teach Boy2.  And Boy2 won't learn.  So I try a different curriculum.  And Boy2 still won't learn.  And then I realize it's not that he won't, but that he can't.  I'm going to take a big short cut here and just tell you that in my quest to change that "can't", we began to explore tweaking our diet.  Not all of the changes we made may be necessary for you and your family, but it leads me to "how I get my kids to eat", which really boils down to just a couple of things:

1.  If your child is just beginning on solids, don't feed them "kid food".  Let them eat what you're eating.  I'm not suggesting you give them jalapenos or horseradish, but the amazing thing about kids' palates is that, unless they are trained to eat "kid food", they don't know they aren't supposed to like vegetables, meat, fish...even cod liver oil.

2.  No choices.  That sounds a little harsh, but we came to this "new" style of eating out of desperation (and oh, the irony, that this "new" style has actually been the eating style of people for thousands of years), so there were no other options for us.  When we changed to a new way of eating, there was no backup plan.  No eat that, then you can have something else.  No PB&J in the pantry.  I think most people have a backup.  And you can't.  If you really want your kids to eat well, you have to be willing to let them be hungry.  You can not force them to eat, but you have to be willing to let them be hungry if they choose not to eat what you serve.  And that is when parenting is not so fun.  But think about it - I've heard about kids drowing in the tub when mom was on Facebook, kids dying from being left in hot cars during the summer, but I can't think of any headlines where a kid starved because his parents only offered him healthy food.

I could go into a lot more detail, but this post has already gotten very long!  And let me be very honest.  We (with the exception of Boy2) do still have the occasional junk.  The other two get snacky stuff at church or out and about from time to time.  But, in general, my kids now eat a pretty healthy diet.  Do they like it?  Not particularly.  If they had a bowl of broccoli and a bowl of Cheetos in front of them, you'd better believe they'd be all over the latter.  (Unless I got to it first...I like me some Cheetos, too.)  But as a rule, eating family meals at home almost 100% of the time,  my former non-veggie, non-meat eaters are eating meat and veggies.

And that, as Martha would say, is a good thing.

(This post is being linked to It's Almost Naptime's Mom to Mom link up.  And I hope I do it right, cause I've never linked up before.)

(Edited to add that I've also linked this to Kelly's Korner's SUYL Friday.)